“On the positive front, a narcissist can be charming, confident, seemingly secure, and outgoing. These are attractive qualities and dating someone like this can be fun.” Says W. Keith Campbell, psychology professor at the University of Georgia
When someone posts too many selfies or talks about themselves constantly, we might call them a narcissist. But a true narcissist is someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Narcissistic personality disorder isn’t the same as self-confidence or being self-absorbed, when this self-obsession crosses the line from surface-level vanity to constant and grounded narcissism, it can be serious and damaging to a relationship, possibly leading to narcissistic abuse.
How to spot if you’re going through an abusive relationship with a narcissist? (Not to ignore the red flags)
- Love bombing:
When you first met the narcissist, they may have showered you with affection. They most likely told you how different you were to anyone else they’ve dated, how you were “the one,” and you two were “meant to be.” Making you feel like you’re the most important person in the world. However, none of it is real, and this isn’t how a normal relationship is supposed to go, building a relationship takes time. So, if you feel like the relationship is going too fast, it probably is!
2. They do not take responsibility for past failed relationships:
You may not talk about it on your first date, but the topic of past relationships comes up eventually. Listening to your partner talk about their past relationships can give you a clear perspective of their mental state:
Narcissists will think that every previous failed relationship was the other person’s fault. They won’t take any responsibility for their failure.
3. The lack of empathy:
Lack of empathy, or the inability to feel how another person is feeling, is on of the main threats of a Narcissist.
Narcissists lack the skill to make you feel seen, validating, understood, or accepted because they don’t grasp the concept of feelings. Meaning that they cannot relate to other people’s emotions, they might find them boring and seem uninterested.
4. Devaluating your priorities:
They will want to impress you with what impresses them and can’t understand why you wouldn’t be equally wowed. For example: If you tell your date that you do not like sweet or candies, they would bring you a big piece of cake, so you would have to eat it just to fulfill their needs.
5. Pity play:
If you find yourself often pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, you probably are dealing with a narcissistic. The narcissist knows you are empathetic, and they know revealing personal information to you will probably make you feel like you’re bonding with them. In reality, they’re usually just trying to create the illusion of closeness, and they will ultimately use it against you.
By Marcela Lugo 